if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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