I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
please come you make the beer taste better
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize