Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
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