he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
