I'm going to jail i love you
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
