Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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