I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
