"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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