once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
