Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
