I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
