i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
