I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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