But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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