worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
