Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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