it hurts more in the daytime
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
