; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
