Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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