Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.

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(360): View more from Washington

afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.

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(818): View more from California

I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras

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(972): View more from Texas

Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving

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(404): View more from Georgia

She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass

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(631): View more from New York

...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"

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