idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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