just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
