What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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