Ketchup is God's man juice
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
