I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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