Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
