Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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