What a fucking waste of an outfit
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
