I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she told me i tasted like america
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
