Kiss
Puke
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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