WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
