physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
