ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
