Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
