I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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