Im at strip club and am horny
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Randomize
