i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
