Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I deserve this hangover.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize