I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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