I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
