Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
