hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
