she looked like the bat from fern gully.
even my farts smell like vagina
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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