Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
