I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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