just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
