I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
