I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
do nipples grow back?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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