I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
