Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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