And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
