im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
