Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
