you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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