You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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