it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
