It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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