I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I love having hate sex.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
